Valor at Work

It has been such a week already, and to think that ‘my week’ is not over yet – Great. All cases are considered ‘rare’ here, and others are even ‘weird’, from one BSOD (Blue Screen Of Death) after the other, inverted screens, virus/spyware attacks, and even Black screens or boot errors on startup. But even the idea of it makes me feel toxic – it really strips off your lifespan by just thinking about it. *sigh*

Even though the facts are very eminent, I know that this can be conquered. Although another possibility remains… A hit or miss fact. Since I am in another company now, that means I am a probationary employee – meaning if I do not do good in the next 6 months, I’ll be back to jobstreet again.

And to think about it, I have no choice… Work is the only good thing that I can do in my life nowadays. Promise cuz, I’ll try, no – I won’t get burned again. *wink*

My cousin Jenjen (She prefers to be called Sheena – hahaha!) reminded me about my behavior at work, telling me that I might get “burned” again. I know, and I understand what it feels to be burned at work – its like wishing that you would resign the next day, and I have experienced it.

Defend

My restdays seem to be flying so fast – like before I know it, the next day would be work again (*sigh*). But anyway, it’s not the thing that made me write this, it’s the “guilt” that I’m feeling.

I got good news when I was informed that dude already now has a job. FINALLY, after some time, dude has already managed to be hired and no longer part of the Philippine’ statistic for the unemployed. but when we got the discussion a little bit further, I got shocked. The salary would be 9k, and 2% tax. It would be nice that the taxation rate is very low, but the salary would also be VERY low, considering the cost of living nowadays in this country. To think that dude would be a breadwinner, it simply breaks my heart.

About thinking of it, it also bothered me on what lies on Mimi after her college years. I know that her dad would do necessary actions, but still – it would be quite difficult. I know that this is one of the reasons that her mom wants her to take nursing, but it’s a good thing that decisions in college is not an issue.

I am well aware that all of these things are 100% NONSENSE… But for me, they have value. As I have declared before, the welfare of the ones that I love will ALWAYS come first above all else, even my own welfare. The only thing that I can do now is to support them in whatever decision they make, whatever the outcome would be…

No brakes, no limits… Ba-ka…

Phone Calls

So far, all that surrounds me is made up of phone calls… At first, I do phone calls back in High School for almost nothing but chatting, except for asking for projects and homeworks. At my college years, I do phone calls also with the same platform, but except for term papers and thesis progress. But never would I imagine that I would be working using the same instrument – a phone.

As a part of the call center industry, although the concept is the same, some things were changed. If I use handsets before, headsets are now implemented. If I talk to peers before, noe I talk to clients. Before, I laugh at the phone, now I do empathy statements. Before, I do multitasking over the phone, like playing a video game or eating meals. Although I still do multitasking, this is for documenting calls and getting the right solution.

I’ve already talked to almost all kinds of people – irate, nice, perky, techy, and even the novice ones. But nevertheless, it brings so much mental stress, especially when your boss gives you feedback in low metrics – which reflects in paperwork that you’re not doing your job well.

I got a little tired of talking over the phone lately… In general, until yesterday.

My weekends evolved to be a ‘piss-off’, when my uncle’s birthday celebration was scheduled on a sunday – typical setting for a family reunion. But it’s a no-no for me – I got work on a sunday! I was trying to think of workarounds, so that I can still attend. But the fact that I am not yet a regular employee here at my new job (meaning that I am not entitled yet to vacation leaves) is the biggest contraint. I thought about lying to my boss, but it will affect my performance at work in general – so dropped the plan. I just need to go to work, as if nothing happened, and nothing will happen.

The day was a drag, I was not able to resolve any kind of issue, even almost argued with a client, and having multiple memory gaps. I was getting updates on what is happening, and my envy was off the charts. But all in all, I was just wishing for the day to end. My parents decided to fetch me after work, which was kinda delayed due to their shopping – but that’s ok.

I do miss those peeps, especially my cousins…

In the end, I decided to call my uncle while driving home, thinking that at least greeting him would do. I was about to hang up the phone, it was passed to my cousin – then to his younger brother – then to mimi! cool! In a short span of time, I was able to ‘catch up’ with them. It may be insufficient, but better than nothing. Before I go to bed at that day, I realized that all that I did that day was the perfect set of decisions.

Thanks, Alex…*

(* – referring to Alexander Graham Bell, the inventor of the telephone)

Bankai (卍解)

The final release (卍解, bankai) is the second and final form of a zanpakutō. To perform it, a shinigami must be able to materialize their zanpakutō’s spirit in the real world and subjugate it, giving the shinigami full reign over the zanpakutō’s power. Because such an act usually takes hundreds of years of combat experience to achieve, it is rare amongst shinigami and almost exclusively limited to the thirteen shinigami captains in the Gotei 13.

After some time and effect , I am now at my new work place. Things are new, the system is new,even my coworkers are new. All that remained is one thing – myself. Training is kinda hard. Things are easy for now, but I know things will get more complicated at later modules. Good thing that their training practice and strategy is effective.

Everything now is getting better – but the rest is getting worse…

House bills are inflating; people getting more and more frustrated. Seeing my friends suffer; such a view to stare. And the people that I treasure – struggle; THIS MUST STOP.

What was I thinking?? All this time, I was thinking of myself. To have a system, I need to be part of a system. Dreamtime’s over.

“Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful people with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan “press on” has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race.” – Calvin Coolidge

NSI Manila

It’s been a year now…

It all started in a seminar… I was passing by the university auditorium when a friend of mine invited me to a presentation of a call center. “Sure, no big deal”, I said to myself. We were inside when the projector of the person who will be presenting his company got haywire. Somehow, I was able to fix it. As we go along the discussion, it first came to my knowledge that these kinds of firms are now called “Contact Centers”. And for courtesy, he gave me a blue ball pen for fixing the projector.

Out of boredom during the graduation practice, I decided to try out their company. I thought that their office is hard to find, but right before I know it, I was already in front of it. It was kinda tedious for me… Exams here, assessments there, stuff like that. And after it all, I was able to pass. The HR department was trying to schedule me on March 25, but I told them that it would not be possible – It’s my graduation day the day before it. And I was re-scheduled to April 10. Cool!

Attending the first week at work is the NHO or the New-Hire Orientation, where we were trained about the heart and soul of the Contact Center industry – Customer Service. The main reason I tried this industry is because I want to overcome the borders of stubbornness in terms of helping people, aside from the courteous salary. And I was able to pass it! Now we are getting along!

After the NHO, now comes the Client Specific Training… Those 2 weeks of information overload are quite nerve-wrecking. But nevertheless, I gained some info about the Internet industry. Afterwards, the traumatic “Nesting” came to pass… My first call was done in 18 seconds – because the caller dropped the call (lol). The next days came and the call center thing came into me naturally. It was nice… So let’s get a hang of it.

The first month was a learning curve – stats that suck. But I was enjoying the ordeal. Then that was the time when I as starting to know the workplace, and the people in it. Some of them are nice, courteous, friendly – but some are all of the above. Slowly but surely, I was gathering my comrades. The first Direct Supervisor can be considered as “very appropriate”. He was kinda weird, but in time, he evolved to be a good mentor. At that time, I was learning how to put my stats closer to perfection, and I do appreciate that. But the sad part is he got promoted. That, in a sense was fine with me, since he deserves it.

I was assigned to a different Direct Supervisor, and luckily, I was able to maintain the good stats that I was hitting. But the next event after that changed my prospective at work. I was assigned to TSS, where only select people are chosen to do the task.  It was happy about it, but there was a thing that made me doubt the offer… I’ll be assigned to the morning. Great. I was very furious about it at first, but either way, I have no choice.

Being assigned in the morning was a big adjustment for me.  But before I knew it, I got used to it. The morning crew that time was very friendly. And I was blessed to have another nice Direct Supervisor, and valuable friends. Also, my stats were at its peak. I was hitting stats like pancakes. I even got close to be eligible for a performance bonus. I was getting to a point that this may be the industry that I’m destined to be with.

Months passed by again, and my Direct Supervisor got promoted. Wow, I’m getting an impression that I’m a lucky charm. And being confident to myself, I decided to go back to the GY (graveyard) shift. But the series of events after that went naturally.

I know to myself that I was trying hard to get my stats to its perfection. But reports are not showing it. I was getting depressed on why the reports are not showing my efforts. But it came up naturally. I missed programming, and I almost forgot my ambitions in the world of programming and the level of fulfillment that it will do me…

So now, as I implement my plans, please understand… I’m not doing this because of money, or position. But because this my way of finding my happiness.  I’m tired of crying and searching… And this time, it will be absolute.

Goodbye, NSI Manila…

Still…

I do not know if you can read this in the future… But I do not care at this point…

Well, here goes.

I’ve met this person last year, when I was attending the afternnoon church services, and was coping to my first work after college. My first impression?

“Cute… But just the usual…”

Well, so far, as much I want to go to my applicable ward, I have no choice, since my body is more comfortable to it. The following week passed, and she’s still there.. Nice… The first thing that got me interested is the fact that she’s more knowledgable with the church than you can expect of. Cool… And it made me think of the times when I was so enthusiastic about going with the church… But now, I am just a person, lurking in the depths of temptation and sin… So much for the term ‘fallen’.

As I notice her upon the coming days, I am noticing something different… But the thing is, I cannot seem to figure out what it is… At that time though.

The following week, I did which I never thought that would happen… I went into their house (I was initially invited to)… It was like “what on earth am I doing here??” But it happened. But what struck me the most is the fact that I was enjoying hanging-out at their place - even though there is a possibility that I can be late for work, since I’m at their place about 2 hours before my shift. But even though I left that evening at about 40 minutes (Bacoor to Makati Business Central can take about 45 minutes for travel time, without stops) bofore shift, I got at the office about 5 minutes before my work.

The experience took me by surprise, but I never thought that it would became a “weekly habit”… My reason? I always forget my Jacket at their sofa… Wow, jackets can become catalysts, eh?~

We we’re having good times there, asking about questions here and there since we’re not that acquainted yet, including her family. Those were the times that I was starting to know about her… Her school experiences, church happenings, stuff like that. It was moments where I forget the data overload at work (I was on training at those times) and think about others… And those moments.. were warm…

After those times, I do realized something… Something that I cannot distinguish at first…

“I’m liking her… Really…”

I thought that this would be like forever… I was wrong… Work started to engulf me… The pressure of work itself, the good luxury of having money of your own to buy things, hanging out with your workmates at every cafe that your eyes can comprehend as nice and cozy… Then it was vanishing… due to workload, I was not able to attend to church anymore… And of course, able to go their place and know a little more of her… At time, i told myself

“it’s ok…”

After some months, after I was assigned to TSS, In appreciation of those times, I send text messages to her and to her mom. And they reply back with text quotes as well, confirming that “they still know me”. And one time, when I miraculously attended church, her mom told me “How about visiting us again sometime?” That statement hit me, but I don’t know why… I ignored it…

(Updates soon…)

Understanding a woman’s likes and dislikes

Whoo! So far, the doctors are saying good signals to my recovery… And that’s very good to hear, to think that my disease is worse than some bursts of cough attacks. Hopefully, I’ll be going to office on Friday to compensate for my pending work…

Geez… No matter how my logic roams through different realities, I still can’t figure out the logic behind a woman’s behavior… But so far, in my years of existence, here’s what I can say (opinions only, so I can be wrong):

• Women, innately, are moody (in general). It gives me goosebumps if a woman is moody by character…
• They LOVE shopping… That’s why I have an uneasy feeling if it’s a sale in mall that we’re dating in…
• They always make a habit of putting ‘constraints’ that are like ‘walls’…
• Some has the ‘what I want is what I get, eventually…’ ideology.
• When they’re desperate of something, they do things of a 10-20 IQ person even if their IQ is of a 90 or so.
• They do know how to execute ‘charged shots’, monetary-wise…
• Organized and clean (Amen!)

It will take a while before I understand a woman’s Operating system, but it will won’t take longer since most of the people at my ecosystem lately are women (don’t worry, I’m not claiming or saying in any kind of way that I’m a womanizer.. I’m the ‘reverse’ of it), but with my ‘dude’ and ‘her’ around, things will be sooner…

“

“When I say, “I love you,” it’s not because I want you or because I can’t have you. It has nothing to do with me. I love what you are, what you do, how you try. I’ve seen your kindness and your strength. I’ve seen the best and the worst of you. And I understand with perfect clarity exactly what you are. You’re a hell of a woman.” - Spike to Buffy

”

(bound for editing… LOL)

Nevertheless…

After some time, finally, I was given a medical leave for my sickness that can possibly be contagious due to its nature to be airborne… But don’t worry, it ain’t that severe. Its just that it will definitely interfere with my job if I’m literally ‘barking’ at the operations floor.But the thing that’s weird to me is my sickness… Based on the Medical Certificate, it’s called:

“Pneumonitis”

Now what on earth is that?

“

*Pneumonitis is a general term for inflammation of lung tissue. Chronic inflammation of lung tissue can lead to irreversible scarring (pulmonary fibrosis). Pneumonitis isn’t a specific disease but a sign of an underlying problem. All pneumonias show pneumonitis under the microscope, but not all pneumonitis is pneumonia. Other causes include: Inhalation of foreign matter, usually of stomach contents when vomiting (aspiration pneumonitis) Exposure to an inhaled allergen (hypersensitivity pneumonitis) Adverse reaction to a drug or toxic chemical (drug- or chemical-induced pneumonitis) Radiation therapy to the lung for cancer Sepsis — a body’s inflammatory response to infection Signs and symptoms depend on the severity and underlying cause, if known, and may include: Shortness of breath Cough Burning sensation in chest A doctor may diagnose pneumonitis based on: History of the illness Physical examination Chest X-ray or computerized tomography (CT) scan Blood tests Pulmonary function tests Lung biopsy Culture of lung secretions — organisms are grown from a sample of infected secretions Treatment depends on the underlying cause and may include medications such as: Corticosteroids Antibiotics

”

Wow! This sickness is far serious than I thought…  So that means a strict recovery protocol should be implemented. Or else… *goosebumps*

Dammit… This means that I won’t be capable to visit Jenn for this week… what am I doing? Maybe I’m not putting my  priorities  to their proper levels…  But nevertheless, all of the uncertainties will end this summer.

The company “Summer Carnivale” is only days away… And it will be the last company activity that I can attend to. So I know that they’ll pressure me to attend, even though I do not attend so such crap stuff. According to E-mail updates, we are entitled to bring one adult and one child, free. cool… but the question is: who do I bring? The child slot is already out of the equation, since I’m NOT a father.

Of course, Jenn would be the first option, but I know that she’ll decline since I haven’t acquired her complete trust. So who’s who? An SMS this morning answered my question… Dude! We haven’t been together for sometime, since I’m busy with my Job and she’s busy finishing her requirements to graduate (finally), and I think this would be a subsidized (monetary-wise) procedure. And besides, bringing a “gorgeous” gal would make the atmosphere very interesting.

A lot of people are questioning my intentions with my dude, Ayik. Can’t blame them (especially the boys), but I want to make myself clear:

“We know our limits. And besides, my heart is already set for Jenn… And I don’t want lightning strike twice on me…”

She’s fun to be with and stuff like that, but I’m a kind of person that “declares static variables”.

Just wanna have fun for my last days at my company…

I want a honorable exit

I just finished processing papers yesterday. I never thought that these kinds of stuff can take ages before it resolves. And I now, all I have to do is to wait…

LOL…  I officially started at NSI last May 1, 2006.. Labor day… One year and 8 days later, I’ll be going away from the things that I got used to already…

There are a lot of things to do for this month alone… Medical Checkups that you have to take on your personal time,  Lots of compliance crap, and even making sure that my stats are doing well. Practically speaking, I can just slack-off and focus more on things to come, and I will embark on… But I can’t… And I WON’T… I have pride over my career, and it is my only way to redeem myself from the recent ‘documentary slack-offs’… I put passion on my work… If my superiors do not recognize that, I can be a superiors’ worst nightmare… If they do, even if it takes living in the office for ages, I’m under their disposal…

DEAL: I do whatever it takes to get my stats and do compliance requirements… But if it will interfere my future plans, I’m sorry, but sacrifices would be necessary…

To those who care for me…

Sorry… It’s rare but I’m kinda mushy right now…

To my Mimi
» When I was young (which is not so long time ago, when I’m with my cousins, its as good as “nothing”. Mimi does make a difference. Her high spirits wants me to search the enthusiasm that I once had, but now had faded away. But just looking at my cousin give me the hope that someday, I’ll get my old self back…

To my Dude, Ayik
» She had always been my idol… To think that she had always been strong in spite of such obstacles in her life – even as we speak. And it gives me a glimpse of hope that all trials of life can be overcome by precise control of our actions and proper decisions. And now, as you graduate from your collegiate dirge, I wish you nothing but success, and hope that the proper people would make you happy… But I think you won’t have a problem choosing… LOL

To my Church dude, Dharl
» Another strong dude… This person always makes me think through her actions that “Faith with works amplifies faith in yourself, and in God”. Thanks for always reminding me that, even if you’re there at Singapore…

To my Friend, Meng
» For making me feel that “forgiveness starts not by forgiving my enemies, but also forgiving myself”.

And to Jenn
» For her presence or just thinking of her give me the hope that I can get what I thought I’ve already lost… myself…
But… No, not yet…