Supernova
Well, you can categorize me now as a worrying person, or a paranoid, or worse, just a person wanting to have attention…
Work, rest – work, rest… That’s what’s happening to my life now. Well, the only thing that I cannot do is slack off from work…
Lately, I just got my evaluation papers – the key if I will be a regular, or not. I did got a upward trend in terms of my stats at work, but still – someone only looks at numbers. A little inconsistency at my other numbers, and they are already clamoring to put me on D-SAT – meaning “dissatisfactory”.
I put passion at work, and the last thing that I would’nt want is lack of trust. I put my life on my boss’s hands if I see that they’re worth it, even if I would need to drag myself at work. But the feedback lately is just disheartening. Jenjen is always reminding me of putting my health first before my work, but I just can’t – I simply can’t.
But – I do have made my conviction. In the last meeting that my team had conducted, told ‘em that “dedication goes beyond numbers”, a phrase that I will do and keep. Besides, this is my Oath… To my family, to the ones I love – and that includes my Mimi…
Which reminds me…
I do know that Mimi is enjoying her college life right now… Which is good, very good. But there is something that disturbs me at the back of my heart. Something that can be prevented… But I just can’t figure out what it is. It is not about her suitors, and I know this time that I ain’t paranoid about this…
I’ve been to two places that I thought Mimi ould be there: first is the Megamall event where I took a glimpse of the world she wants to be in – Bright Lights, everyone flaunting their best. At that rate, even a small inconsistency would mean a major choke – maybe the same fundamentals of my field. Yet she is already chipping her life off those activities…
The question is: If she is aleady chipping her life at that kind of environment, and the fundamentals are just the same – then what is left of my life then now..?
“When light becomes brighter, your shadow becomes greater as well…”
- Ansem
No…
I already took an oath to protect everyone I love, at the expense of all of my sacrifices. I am willing to deny happiness from myself, for the sake of the ones I love. I don’t want them to experience the agony and pain of chipping away their life…
But… this is part of life…
So far, even for some time, I have felt something that restores your life, regenerates it. something called LOVE… Yes, something that I can give to them… even if… I’m craving for it…
Is this part of the “payment” of the sins that I’ve done..?
Well, I don’t care…
I don’t care… No limits, no boundaries… I guess THIS is what it means to defend…
Take care of yourself Mimi… I am with you… ALL of you… You are my weapon…
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